Second morning in Breckenridge.
I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. I listen to Dad concoct his tea in the kitchen. Red rose with half a teaspoon of milk. I can direct him from counter to counter. Before he sneezes I whisper "bless you."
Two sisters still sleep: Jackie sprawled like a star fish, blond hair splayed. Cassie buried beneath covers, snoring and dreaming of red eyed seagulls.
I am awake, always awake, I rise early.
Where is my mother? Ahh, the missing figure, "touche" she would mutter, disapproving. She could be running in place or painting a landscape or crouched beneath a closet shelf sipping chardonnay.
I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. I listen to Dad concoct his tea in the kitchen. Red rose with half a teaspoon of milk. I can direct him from counter to counter. Before he sneezes I whisper "bless you."
Two sisters still sleep: Jackie sprawled like a star fish, blond hair splayed. Cassie buried beneath covers, snoring and dreaming of red eyed seagulls.
I am awake, always awake, I rise early.
Where is my mother? Ahh, the missing figure, "touche" she would mutter, disapproving. She could be running in place or painting a landscape or crouched beneath a closet shelf sipping chardonnay.
My family. My makeup, my insides.
If I were a fourth sister and describing myself I would write:
And the oldest is awake, always awake, writing in her room. I can hear her soft sighing through the wall. The occasional thump of pen against paper. She will appear in a minute and say "good morning, lovely girl, good morning - I just woke up." But I know she has been up for hours.
And then I kiss my youngest sister's cheeks and say, "you don't exist, which is just as well."
To think I almost missed it all!
Title quote from Franz Wright's Admission.
If I were a fourth sister and describing myself I would write:
And the oldest is awake, always awake, writing in her room. I can hear her soft sighing through the wall. The occasional thump of pen against paper. She will appear in a minute and say "good morning, lovely girl, good morning - I just woke up." But I know she has been up for hours.
And then I kiss my youngest sister's cheeks and say, "you don't exist, which is just as well."
To think I almost missed it all!
Title quote from Franz Wright's Admission.
