Monday, March 31, 2008

31: reflecting

One image to pay homage to the past,

No matter the state of your garden, as long as you care for your garden yourself, it is never too late to claim that which has always been yours.


Breaking up - breaking up the pair, breaking up the relationship, breaking up the little bubble you've inevitably created. I miss the bubble. I miss the boy – I miss his humor, his kindness, his steadiness – and I miss the boy’s family.

In December we – his family and I - went for a little jaunt to Central America and frankly, I couldn’t take the pressure.

I miss the Boy’s mother – she has this uncanny ability to understand people, and to draw conclusions and realizations from seemingly impossible situations. She can look at something and see through it – and tell you about it after. In the most gracious, and thoughtful, way. His father is hilarious, and unapologetic ally kind. For a long time I felt supported by them, and by the boy – like I had jumped down the rabbit hole and awoken in a fuzzy cocoon of warmth and Midwestern nice.

But. But there’s always a but. Everything changed, and that’s OK too.

another image to welcome the future - and the summer!



a night for remembering those weve lost

March is a difficult month for my family. Years ago we lost three family members to the same disease I have. This wasn't the first time for my family at large, but it certainly was for my sisters and I.

To honor them, I want to finish March with honesty ... and let someone else say what can be found in my heart.
Months ago I met Joe at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. “Hi sweetheart, how ya doing,” is his line. Usually to my sponsor, not to me.

Before tonight I knew this about him:
1. He’s very handsome- in a boyish, charming way.
2. He got sober at 16 because he fell off a bike and scared his mom. He didn’t want to become his Dad, so he joined AA.
3. He recently celebrated 25 years.
… And the real old-timers, men and women with 30, 40 years, always tease him for being a wimp (playfully, of course, and with respect.)

Tonight he sat next to a woman, Doreen, who shared about her husband’s recent death. After a week of not being able to find him, she came home to a voice message: the coroner had called. Her husband had died the night before in a motel 6. She identified his body this morning – when she shared she was shaking, and sobbing, and screaming – she found him in the bathroom, splayed out among bottles, vomit, feces… he had been there for 20 hours before anyone discovered him. He had 4 years of sobriety, and relapsed a week before, because he wanted to “show them.” Resentments are our greatest foe, says the big book, and I believe this to be true.

After she spoke Joe raised his hand. As always he introduced himself: “Joe, alcoholic.” But this time he turned and stared at her. He said,

“Hi Doreen, I’m Joe. I want to tell you something. Last year, eleven months ago, a car hit my fiancĂ©e. She had just received twenty years of sobriety. She was rollerblading, on the sidewalk, and a car swerved off the road. It was a freak thing – game over. I’ll never forget that night – I went to the hospital, and she died, dead, she was there, dead. She still had my ring, her ring, the ring that promised forever – on her finger.” He was still staring at Doreen, looking her dead in the eye. “So I walked out of the hospital room – numb and shocked and confused – and there was my sponsee, standing against the wall. I don’t know why I said this, and I have no idea where it came from, but I said, ‘Now you watch me. Now you watch closely. Look at what alcoholics anonymous does. Look at what I do and what I am, and see how alcoholics anonymous works.”

He can’t remember much after that, everything was a blur. But he stayed sober through it - he maintained his grace, his dignity - and kept his head high through what could have been his demise. I know this because every share after him was from people who had been there. People who helped him, and held him, and supported him in every step.

All I could think was: what a privilege this is. What a fucking privilege. To be able to sit here, listening to these people- not only to listen to them but to watch them walk through the pain and the tragedy – so that I, my sponsor, my fellows – we can walk through it later.

And just as these words were going through my head, a young woman shared almost verbatim the same thing.

This is what it’s all about.

reflecting on costa rica

Boy and I had been disintegrating for a month or two. I had given him my last effort: my sobriety. Note! He did NOT ASK ME TO DO THIS. This is about me, not him. But the point is that I TRIED to smoke weed, I tried to be “normal”. I tried to give him the twenty-something life society tells us is “fun” and “hip” and “thrilling”... But normal isn’t normal for this little alcoholic, unfortunately, and by the time we had jetsetted down to Costa Rica, I was in deep water.

I won’t divulge the gory details. I will try to concentrate on the present. But to summarize: I relapsed almost to the point of no return – I didn’t drink, but I did everything else. And I broke something I had been building, with or with out my knowledge, for two years.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

30: sunday reds

today i need to be lifted up, so i reread a message written to me for my birthday.

here is part of it:

"...love, strength, hope, happiness. I picked peace in the end because it is what I want for you & me & our relationship. Because you will always be my best friend and I don't want to waste anymore time..."

after a few deep breaths and a few kind words, i feel better.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

29: being a kid

today i rode a beach cruiser while listening to California Girls by the beach boys. i am pleasantly regressing to age 10, when life was easy and music was on tape. 

<3>

earth hour day!!

please, turn off your lights!

Friday, March 28, 2008

28: excuse me while i flaunt my leading man...


sampson's leading playmate :(
the prison puppy. 
make love, not war: i wish it were so simple. 

i've said it before and i'll say it again: california light... there ain't nothing like it. 
 

28th day

so this is my 28th day of my first 30 days as a single woman... ever. (not including preteen years. )

i created this flickr set:

table for one

and now i am making it public.

please, let me know what you think! i worked hard on this project and would love your feedback :)

happy friday!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

27: goodbye daylight

thursday is my marathon nap day. i clocked 4 hours horizontal this afternoon, and when I awoke i snapped photos of the first things i noticed:




and in my blurry mind it goes like something like this:

oh, how i love this moment! when the sun simmers and burns the edges of the day: images outlined in gold, lining as thin and capricious as a brushstroke...

night seeps in like streams of water extinguishing a fire.


happy thursday! this is my favorite, and most lucky, day of the week. play the lotto and boil in the hot tub - this is how I celebrate :)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

go greener

spring cleaning: women and environment

check this out... and get greener!

a lot of women in my family, me included, suffer from asthma... the men - correction, the man- simply "doesn't believe" in it (direct quote).

wouldn't it be nice to help ourselves while helping the earth? sign up and they will send you a kit!

26: sweet dream of sky

southern california is so beautiful. i want to stay here at least through the summer, so i can camp in mexico and drive to vegas with friends.... attend spa camp with sisters/mom and help Lynnie's mom move in Colorado.
but after? i miss jackie enough to move to San Fran just to be closer! 

images from my walk with Sam, to help me remember:







“When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.”
- crazy Barry
(also a Buddhist saying)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

25: earth hour



So I try to “go green” as often as I can.

The Prius is my saving grace – I figure my football shaped electric car earns me the right to occasionally flick a cigarette, or throw a pop can in the regular trash. BUT NO! I don’t want to have the just-this-once attitude anymore. It’s high time I care for the world around me - smell the organic coffee and face the new age music.

FIRST, a short trip down memory lane – I think I was in kindergarten -


Dad, Cassie and I on the boat,
Jupiter’s turquoise water shining beneath us,
Just ate a popsicle bought at Barnacle Bobs (for those of you who don’t know, it’s a floating restaurant, only to be rivaled by Water Weenies)
I leaned over the greenish 70’s paneling,
About to throw my popsicle into the water -
“STOP!”
My Dad grabs my hand and glares at me–
“what?” I asked.
“NEVER litter.”
“It’s wood though, trees are wood, too!”
“Robin, think about it this way: what if every person in the entire world threw their sticks into the water?? What would happen then?”
I imagined tidal waves of popsicle sticks; splintering the fish, choking the drains, skewering
the swimmers and snagging the water-skiers… you get the idea.

My dad looked at me. “That’s what I thought.”

I don’t want to live in a world of trash – and I don’t want my friends and family living there, either.

My first order of green is posting about “earth hour”.

Check out the link here:

http://www.earthhour.org/

worldwide people are shutting off their lights for one hour on March 29th - 8pm.

I think Sampson and I can handle this. What about you?

.................

one more thing - coming from a family of four CANADIAN girls, I find this blog really fun to read:

http://fiveblondes.com/

check out the FAQ section... sound familiar? thought it would be appreciated!

Monday, March 24, 2008

24: the light in california is gold...




Simplicity is the keynote of a good life. Choose the simple things always. Love the humble things of life. Reverence the simple things. Your standard must never be the world's standard of wealth and power.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

dreaming of diving into the deep black of paint lake

tonight someone asked me to describe my childhood. i wish i could have recited this poem, but i told them: fairies, homemade productions, black water, art shows, waterskiing, chicken gumbo and dancing on the kitchen table to tracy chapman and eric clapton. 

just thought i would share before we go into the last week of march - my favorite, and most unlucky, month. 

Canada
Billy Collins


I am writing this on a strip of white birch bark
that I cut from a tree with a penknife.
There is no other way to express adequately
the immensity of the clouds that are passing over the farms
and wooded lakes of Ontario and the endless visibility
that hands you the horizon on a platter.

I am also writing this in a wooden canoe,
a point of balance in the middle of Lake Couchiching,
resting the birch bark against my knees.
I can feel the sun’s hands on my bare back,
but I am thinking of winter,
snow piled up in all the provinces
and the solemnity of the long grain-ships
that pass the cold months moored at Owen Sound.

O Canada, as the anthem goes,
scene of my boyhood summers,
you are the pack of Sweet Caporals on the table,
you are the dove-soft train whistle in the night,
you are the empty chair at the end of an empty dock.
You are the shelves of hooks in a lakeside cottage:
Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh,
A Child’s Garden of Verses by Robert Louis Stevenson,
Anne of Avonlea by L. M. Montgomery,
So You’re Going to Paris! by Clara E. Laughlin,
and Peril Orer the Airport, one
of the Vicky Barr Flight Stewardess series
by Helen Wills whom some will remember
as the author of the Cherry Ames Nurse stories.
What has become of the languorous girls
who would pass the long limp summer evenings reading
Cherry Ames, Student Nurse, Cherry Ames, Senior Nurse,
Cherry Ames, Chief Nurse, and Cherry Ames, Flight Nurse?
Where are they now, the ones who shared her adventures
as a veterans’ nurse, private duty nurse, visiting nurse,
cruise nurse, night supervisor, mountaineer nurse,
dude ranch nurse (there is little she has not done),
rest home nurse, department store nurse,
boarding school nurse, and country doctor's nurse?

O Canada, I have not forgotten you,
and as I kneel in my canoe, beholding this vision
of a bookcase, I pray that I remain in your vast,
polar, North American memory.
You are the paddle, the snowshoe, the cabin in the pines.
You are Jean de Brebeuf with his martyr’s necklace of hatchet heads.
You are the moose in the clearing and the moosehead on the wall.
You are the rapids, the propeller, the kerosene lamp.
You are the dust that coats the roadside berries.
But not only that.
You are the two boys with pails walking along that road,
and one of them, the taller one minus the straw hat, is me.

experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.


last lecture

this will link you to a crash course in dad 101. all the values he taught us, this man recites in his lecture. 

very inspiring. 


23: easter

wishing everyone a happy easter...


... but one question: the bunny and the eggs; what do they have to do with the crucifixion? 

Saturday, March 22, 2008

22: true love

not much has changed, eh? 

22: sorry to the man i won't mention

earlier today i received a phone call from the person who supposedly sent me the I'll-kill-you text. his phone was stolen by "ignant" people, who must have seen my number and thought it was funny to harass me. im so relieved. the unmentionable is restored (somewhat) in my eyes. although we aren't together anymore, i still respect him for his rational, stable personality - and i hope i always will!

so i'm sorry, unmentionable one. 

crisis averted. 

22: sorry steve wellman

another journal pic: sophomore year, high school.

last night my sisters and I suffered quite the debacle. I received 15 threatening text messages from an unmentionable:

"I don't want to talk to x, fuck you bitch ILL K I LL Y OU!"

i flipped out and immediately phoned my sister, Jackie, who promptly contacted my other sister, Cassie - like a makeshift Charlie's Angels team we attacked the situation with all the brains and courage we could muster. I tried to call this unmentionable person back, but my number was "blocked" - or so I thought.

robin: Jackie, his phone is blocking mine, will you three way him?
Jack: I'm on it. I'll try to get Cass on the line, too.

Jackie and Robin call - from area code 561, Florida.

riiiiing, riiiing, riiiiiing

SW: hello?
robin: put @*@* on the phone.
SW: excuse me?
robin: i know who you are. put him on the phone.
SW: i'm sorry you have the wrong number.

hangs up.

robin: what the f was that all about? he sounds like he's twelve.
jackie: i don't know, but it has to be him. cassie says she wants to call him.

cassie calls - from colorado.

riiiiiiing.

SW: hello?
cass: hey buddy, put **** on the phone.
SW: who IS this? ?
cass: don't mess around.
SW: My name is Steve Wellman. I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. Stop callling!

hangs up.

jackie and robin call again - from connecticut.

riiiiiiing.

robin: HEY. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. PUT **** ON THE PHONE!
SW: My name is Steve.
robin: Oh yeah, Steve? How long have you had this phone number.
SW: I've had this phone for five years.
jackie: (snickers) yeah right.
robin: Ok "Steve", why did you send me a text threatening to KILL me!!
SW: I do not know what you are talking about, mam.

hangs up.

robin: hey jack, are you sure you are dialing the right number?
jack: yeah, here it is ********
robin: um... that's not it.
jack: crap! cassie was calling it too!
robin: uh-oh. steve welllman just got ambushed from macs around the country.

the night ended with me talking to jackie on i-video until the wee hours of the morning, cassie advising me to call the police, my sponsor calling to make sure i was safe.... and this morning i woke up to four phone calls, one panicked message, and a knock on the door from the security guy.

why me?

question: why do I seem to drive men INSANE? I infuriate them to the point of no return.


while I ponder this question, I want to send this amends out into the universe:



Dear Steve Wellman,

I apologize profusely for last night's unseemly situation. My sisters and I want you to know that we never meant to bother you, or question your identity... or your manhood, or your honesty - we never meant call you demeaning names, or phone you from all corners of the country.

Sincerely, apologetically, and pitifully:

Robin, Cassie, Jackie and Sampson Mac.

Friday, March 21, 2008

21: searching myself




along with my photographs I brought back my journals from Florida. well, at least... 1/3 of my journals... whenever i go through a big breakup I always sift through my past - which i document well, as you can see - and ask myself the same persistent, nagging question: what the hell that
 about?

****if anyone has better or just other ways to get over someone, please! let me know. 

Thursday, March 20, 2008

more FILM shot with a PENTAXslr 35 mm.... be still my heart :(

... and developed by ME in an actual DARK ROOM....

a contact sheet... this should be in a museum.

piano...



i colored this in myself - back in 1999 - at the time it seemed cool, now it's so dated!

i long for the days of dark rooms and chemical smells, contact sheets and rusty projectors... it took me a LONG time to become halfway accustomed to digital....i'm still not there, but i'm trying!


20: canadian summer

taken in 1999 - my first official day of summer i once spent the summer in toronto, studying photography at BSS - the boarding school my mother attended when she was in high school. if any of you are fans of John Irving, his novels frequently reference BSS -

The Bishop Strachan School. Canada's Oldest Day and Boarding School For Girls.

currently I am reading The Fourth Hand, have any of you read it? John Irving weaves an incredible story, never fails, but I find his themes and ideas sometimes weak... but he was born on March 2nd, so I don't have much criticism, him being a fellow pisces and all!

can't resist

found this article over at brain based biz:

http://brainbasedbiz.blogspot.com/2008/03/brain-behind-marchs-child-is.html

i figure it's my birthday month so i can indulge in all my astrological obsessions!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

19: if i could get over that big a crash, i can get over this.

blondes have more fun...? look at that brewski!



the beach house murals 

just to get this out of the way

people often ask about my life in recovery. the most common questions include:

do you go to a meeting everyday?

nope. i try to help one person and call my sponsor (who is just a friend), but other than that, my program looks different every day...

don't you feel like your life is over?

nope. my life is just beginning. i can go anywhere, do anything, and meet anyone - i have no limits. before my life was contained with in the four walls of a bar or a bedroom.

do you tell people you are sober? if they want to know. a lot of people can't handle it.

do you think this is permanent? i take it day by day.

seems like a lot of trouble- why do this?

because death is a scary alternative...and yes, i was really that bad. a good quote sums this up:

They say there are no 'musts' in AA, that it's a 'suggested program'. That's right. The same way that when you jump out of a plane, it's suggested you take a parachute. ~unknown

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

18: twisting the knife


When in Florida I sifted through my mounds upon mounds of journals, paper, drawings, photos... etc. among other treasures, i found this book I once recorded my favorite quotes in - even the margins are covered with scribble. But I turned to it tonight after a distressing phone conversation and found this from my freshman year of college...

letter from Rainer Maria Rilke

To love is good, too: love being difficult.
For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
For this reason young people, who are beginners in everything, cannot yet know love: they have to learn it.
With their whole being, with all their forces, gathered close about their lonely, timid, upward-beating heart, they must learn to love.
But learning-time is always a long, secluded time, and so loving, for a long while ahead and far on into life, is--solitude, intensified and deepened loneness for him who loves.
Love is at first not anything that means merging, giving over, and uniting with another (for what would a union be of something unclarified and unfinished, still subordinate--?), it is a high inducement to the individual to ripen, to become something in himself for another's sake, it is a great exacting claim upon him, something that chooses him out and calls him to vast things.


i want to ripen, to grow: now i realize that love is not merging, giving over, becoming one. love is loving an individual and being an individual and choosing to be with that individual day after day.

maybe?



Monday, March 17, 2008

Sitting in the ft. Lauderdale airport again –

A elderly lady with foot-high white hair and bold red lipstick sits across from me, nonchalantly tapping her foot and glaring at the young people who sit around her. Her varicose veins peek over her starchy white socks, and her jaw hangs a little slack on the left side. This is the other side of Florida: in with the freakies and out with the oldies!

Waiting for my plane back to LA…

This trip? Amazing in so many different ways.

I finally finished an important chapter in my life. Garnering enough strength to make HUGE life decisions is difficult for anyone, especially a broken thinker like me☺

Honestly, I could say this “decision” took me my entire life – 23 long years - to complete. My friends tell me to use my experience to create strength and hope, and that is what I am trying to do…. But the difference between this breakup and my other breakups is that I am not alone. I have my family and my friends to stand with me. My voicemail box is full, I have three unread text messages. 18 emails to check, and a Sampson in a bag sleeping beside me. My Dad in Florida and my Mom in Colorado, my sisters flying back and forth across the country. Lynnie and Hallie picking me up from the airport, Omar is preparing to tell me his “last two things”, my sponsor just called to wish me love… and the list goes on.

In other words, I feel this thriving support system beneath me – like a trapeze artist with her net – I feel empowered and bold, strong and independent.

((and that self aware voice inside asks::: who is this person? What is this strength? Really?? REALLY??))

I know. I can hardly believe it myself.

Pictures when I get back!!

17: my lucky day


Sunday, March 16, 2008

Saturday, March 15, 2008

15: and lots of time with my other favorite guy!

he shoots,
and i shoot,
ice cream,
and toros!

15: my florida routine

boat ride, 
dune dog, 
pronti's, 
and lots of time with my favorite guy! 


Friday, March 14, 2008

Thursday, March 13, 2008

13: my girls send me away

13: goodbye well-paying job, benefits and vacation time::: hello paupers and poverty:)

13: goodbye well-paying job, benefits and vacation time::: hello paupers and poverty:)

Jodi and I created this masterpiece – a little risky to post on the internet, but I had to do it! Yes, I know what you’re thinking – that blue eyed girl, she lives on the wild side! Crazy ‘yatch! Ohhh, snap.

[Photo]

On March 1st I officially “resigned” from my 9 to 5, cookie cutter job… and shortly after was manipulated (strong armed) into working for the rest of March.

All’s well that ends well, I suppose… only two more weeks left?! Thank GOD!

13: goodbye well-paying job, benefits and vacation time::: hello paupers and poverty:)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

12: "the states", as we canadians call it



What thoughts I have of you tonight, Walt Whitman, for I walked
down the sidestreets under the trees with a headache self-conscious looking
at the full moon.
In my hungry fatigue, and shopping for images, I went into the neon
fruit supermarket, dreaming of your enumerations!
What peaches and what penumbras! Whole families shopping at
night! Aisles full of husbands! Wives in the avocados, babies in the tomatoes!
--and you, GarcĂ­a Lorca, what were you doing down by the watermelons?

I saw you, Walt Whitman, childless, lonely old grubber, poking
among the meats in the refrigerator and eyeing the grocery boys.
I heard you asking questions of each: Who killed the pork chops?
What price bananas? Are you my Angel?
I wandered in and out of the brilliant stacks of cans following you,
and followed in my imagination by the store detective.
We strode down the open corridors together in our solitary fancy
tasting artichokes, possessing every frozen delicacy, and never passing the
cashier.

Where are we going, Walt Whitman? The doors close in a hour.
Which way does your beard point tonight?
(I touch your book and dream of our odyssey in the supermarket and
feel absurd.)
Will we walk all night through solitary streets? The trees add shade
to shade, lights out in the houses, we'll both be lonely.
Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of love past blue automo-
biles in driveways, home to our silent cottage?
Ah, dear father, graybeard, lonely old courage-teacher, what America
did you have when Charon quit poling his ferry and you got out on a
smoking bank and stood watching the boat disappear on the black waters of
Lethe?


--Berkeley, 1955

Allen Ginsberg



CURRENTLY my america is driving down the highway, flicking off fellow road ragers, smelling hot sun rising from my leather seats and smoking a rapidly smoldering cigarette while chewing watermelon bubble gum.

coming home to a news channel droning on about places i haven't been and events i can not understand.

and you?

Monday, March 10, 2008

welcome home







i'm here.

I forgot how many freakies live in my home state (me, included? too early to tell). Currently I am sitting outside in the full blast steam room that is Florida, watching a man with stringy blond hair vibrate in a wheelchair, tweaking out and crying "Oh you fuckers, ohhh fuckers, fuckity fuckers..."

Omar Sal is picking me up in his new boy-version of my prius: a hybrid camry. Hopefully it isn't lime green with a red flame etched on the side... who knows what this crazy man is capable of?

lots of memories rolling over me at the moment, good and bad.

bad: arriving in Miami, straight from Chile, drunk off a gallon of knockoff rum; leaving one of my two GIGANTIC bags at the claim, hitching a ride with a haitian man who came up to my chest (barely), stumbling into my house and pouncing on Jackie; Dad finding my third-full bottle and whispering, "Do you think robin has a drinking problem?"

good: talking to my dad on the phone - his happy and reliable greeting, WELCOME TO FLORIDA, my laughter and his excitement. killing time by checking email, writing, and eating a ben and jerry's cookies and cream cone - spending $10.00 and laughing with the befuddled man behind the counter... right now. right now, this moment, this fresh - sweet - lovely moment in my second year of sobriety.

i'm one of the lucky ones.

10: lemons


Sunday, March 9, 2008

9: four hour hike

I’m a tad behind on my posts, and my picture-a-day while Pete-is-away theme (what a corny rhyme! LOVE it) needs to be brought up to date.

So this is what I’ve been doing:


**yes, this is a photo of my sister, but we are almost identical so it serves the same purpose!!

Some background info: I was born into a supremely active family. My father is an ex hockey player- marathon runner- sports nut, and my Mother, despite her profession (graphic designer), is a snowboarder, skier, runner… the list goes on… and on… and on.

Sunday the fam decided take a walk. Just a casual stroll – or so I was told. Four hours later we return to the hotel room, me- the caboose- crawling behind. What the hell??

But we had a wonderful time, despite blisters and sunburns, and have beautiful photos to show for it.

peace.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

happy birthday to me:)

I had a family-full weekend. Both sisters arrived with in minutes of one another on Friday afternoon. I greeted them with Sampson in tow. We hugged, kissed, laughed, zoomed off in the prius to my tiny one bedroom where I now live alone!! Organized, settled in, laughed a WHOLE lot more…

After catching up with one another we decided to head to Balboa peninsula for haircuts and grooming ;) Jackie and I ate at Alta, one of my favorite outdoor cafes (see picture below). We discussed the possibility of me moving to San Francisco come June – and the end of my lease – we settled on:

Pros: love the city, close to Jackster, good recovery, family visits, job possibilities, culture, escape from Republican-white man-scary neonatziville.

Cons: missing my friends in Orange County, AA fellowship I’ve built around me, changing too much too soon, Pete….Pete.

I still have time, but I would love your suggestions and thoughts.

ANYWAY,

After the somersaults and cartwheels, Mom and Pops arrived in the OC on Saturday, (Sophie their adorable shitzu in tow); after our family meet and greet, they roared off in their shiny suv to the timeshare they rented on the beach. Very nice.

My mother is so beautiful. Every time I see her I marvel at how stunning she is… I hope I look – act – think like her as I get older…

And Dad, of course, is a big Buddha. He coasts through life thinking deeply and living day to day, moment to moment - with an open mind and a free heart.

My parents are incredible people.

Saturday we dined at the Daily Grill. Mid-way through our appetizers I felt a tap on my shoulder. As it turns out, my sponsor, Donna, was sitting two tables away! She hugged me and kissed me and wished me a happy birthday a hundred times over. I had the good fortune of meeting her eleven year old son:

“Hi, I’m Robin. Your Mom has told me so much about you!”

“Hi. Well I don’t know who you are. I've never heard about you.” He giggles. “Happy Birthday!”

Oh, kids. You got to love them.

My Dad commented on how joyous she is... and I told him that laughter betrays a light heart! I picked her as a guide and mentor for a reason... but more on her later.

I’m off to see what happens next. Thanks for reading :)

8: my birthday!





Here's to the land of the shamrock so green,
Here's to each lad and his darlin colleen,
Here's to the ones we love dearest and most.
May God bless old Ireland, that's this Irishman's toast!


 
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