Thursday, March 27, 2008

27: goodbye daylight

thursday is my marathon nap day. i clocked 4 hours horizontal this afternoon, and when I awoke i snapped photos of the first things i noticed:




and in my blurry mind it goes like something like this:

oh, how i love this moment! when the sun simmers and burns the edges of the day: images outlined in gold, lining as thin and capricious as a brushstroke...

night seeps in like streams of water extinguishing a fire.


happy thursday! this is my favorite, and most lucky, day of the week. play the lotto and boil in the hot tub - this is how I celebrate :)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

go greener

spring cleaning: women and environment

check this out... and get greener!

a lot of women in my family, me included, suffer from asthma... the men - correction, the man- simply "doesn't believe" in it (direct quote).

wouldn't it be nice to help ourselves while helping the earth? sign up and they will send you a kit!

26: sweet dream of sky

southern california is so beautiful. i want to stay here at least through the summer, so i can camp in mexico and drive to vegas with friends.... attend spa camp with sisters/mom and help Lynnie's mom move in Colorado.
but after? i miss jackie enough to move to San Fran just to be closer! 

images from my walk with Sam, to help me remember:







“When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.”
- crazy Barry
(also a Buddhist saying)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

25: earth hour



So I try to “go green” as often as I can.

The Prius is my saving grace – I figure my football shaped electric car earns me the right to occasionally flick a cigarette, or throw a pop can in the regular trash. BUT NO! I don’t want to have the just-this-once attitude anymore. It’s high time I care for the world around me - smell the organic coffee and face the new age music.

FIRST, a short trip down memory lane – I think I was in kindergarten -


Dad, Cassie and I on the boat,
Jupiter’s turquoise water shining beneath us,
Just ate a popsicle bought at Barnacle Bobs (for those of you who don’t know, it’s a floating restaurant, only to be rivaled by Water Weenies)
I leaned over the greenish 70’s paneling,
About to throw my popsicle into the water -
“STOP!”
My Dad grabs my hand and glares at me–
“what?” I asked.
“NEVER litter.”
“It’s wood though, trees are wood, too!”
“Robin, think about it this way: what if every person in the entire world threw their sticks into the water?? What would happen then?”
I imagined tidal waves of popsicle sticks; splintering the fish, choking the drains, skewering
the swimmers and snagging the water-skiers… you get the idea.

My dad looked at me. “That’s what I thought.”

I don’t want to live in a world of trash – and I don’t want my friends and family living there, either.

My first order of green is posting about “earth hour”.

Check out the link here:

http://www.earthhour.org/

worldwide people are shutting off their lights for one hour on March 29th - 8pm.

I think Sampson and I can handle this. What about you?

.................

one more thing - coming from a family of four CANADIAN girls, I find this blog really fun to read:

http://fiveblondes.com/

check out the FAQ section... sound familiar? thought it would be appreciated!

Monday, March 24, 2008

24: the light in california is gold...




Simplicity is the keynote of a good life. Choose the simple things always. Love the humble things of life. Reverence the simple things. Your standard must never be the world's standard of wealth and power.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

dreaming of diving into the deep black of paint lake

tonight someone asked me to describe my childhood. i wish i could have recited this poem, but i told them: fairies, homemade productions, black water, art shows, waterskiing, chicken gumbo and dancing on the kitchen table to tracy chapman and eric clapton. 

just thought i would share before we go into the last week of march - my favorite, and most unlucky, month. 

Canada
Billy Collins


I am writing this on a strip of white birch bark
that I cut from a tree with a penknife.
There is no other way to express adequately
the immensity of the clouds that are passing over the farms
and wooded lakes of Ontario and the endless visibility
that hands you the horizon on a platter.

I am also writing this in a wooden canoe,
a point of balance in the middle of Lake Couchiching,
resting the birch bark against my knees.
I can feel the sun’s hands on my bare back,
but I am thinking of winter,
snow piled up in all the provinces
and the solemnity of the long grain-ships
that pass the cold months moored at Owen Sound.

O Canada, as the anthem goes,
scene of my boyhood summers,
you are the pack of Sweet Caporals on the table,
you are the dove-soft train whistle in the night,
you are the empty chair at the end of an empty dock.
You are the shelves of hooks in a lakeside cottage:
Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh,
A Child’s Garden of Verses by Robert Louis Stevenson,
Anne of Avonlea by L. M. Montgomery,
So You’re Going to Paris! by Clara E. Laughlin,
and Peril Orer the Airport, one
of the Vicky Barr Flight Stewardess series
by Helen Wills whom some will remember
as the author of the Cherry Ames Nurse stories.
What has become of the languorous girls
who would pass the long limp summer evenings reading
Cherry Ames, Student Nurse, Cherry Ames, Senior Nurse,
Cherry Ames, Chief Nurse, and Cherry Ames, Flight Nurse?
Where are they now, the ones who shared her adventures
as a veterans’ nurse, private duty nurse, visiting nurse,
cruise nurse, night supervisor, mountaineer nurse,
dude ranch nurse (there is little she has not done),
rest home nurse, department store nurse,
boarding school nurse, and country doctor's nurse?

O Canada, I have not forgotten you,
and as I kneel in my canoe, beholding this vision
of a bookcase, I pray that I remain in your vast,
polar, North American memory.
You are the paddle, the snowshoe, the cabin in the pines.
You are Jean de Brebeuf with his martyr’s necklace of hatchet heads.
You are the moose in the clearing and the moosehead on the wall.
You are the rapids, the propeller, the kerosene lamp.
You are the dust that coats the roadside berries.
But not only that.
You are the two boys with pails walking along that road,
and one of them, the taller one minus the straw hat, is me.

experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.


last lecture

this will link you to a crash course in dad 101. all the values he taught us, this man recites in his lecture. 

very inspiring. 


23: easter

wishing everyone a happy easter...


... but one question: the bunny and the eggs; what do they have to do with the crucifixion? 

Saturday, March 22, 2008

22: true love

not much has changed, eh? 

22: sorry to the man i won't mention

earlier today i received a phone call from the person who supposedly sent me the I'll-kill-you text. his phone was stolen by "ignant" people, who must have seen my number and thought it was funny to harass me. im so relieved. the unmentionable is restored (somewhat) in my eyes. although we aren't together anymore, i still respect him for his rational, stable personality - and i hope i always will!

so i'm sorry, unmentionable one. 

crisis averted. 

22: sorry steve wellman

another journal pic: sophomore year, high school.

last night my sisters and I suffered quite the debacle. I received 15 threatening text messages from an unmentionable:

"I don't want to talk to x, fuck you bitch ILL K I LL Y OU!"

i flipped out and immediately phoned my sister, Jackie, who promptly contacted my other sister, Cassie - like a makeshift Charlie's Angels team we attacked the situation with all the brains and courage we could muster. I tried to call this unmentionable person back, but my number was "blocked" - or so I thought.

robin: Jackie, his phone is blocking mine, will you three way him?
Jack: I'm on it. I'll try to get Cass on the line, too.

Jackie and Robin call - from area code 561, Florida.

riiiiing, riiiing, riiiiiing

SW: hello?
robin: put @*@* on the phone.
SW: excuse me?
robin: i know who you are. put him on the phone.
SW: i'm sorry you have the wrong number.

hangs up.

robin: what the f was that all about? he sounds like he's twelve.
jackie: i don't know, but it has to be him. cassie says she wants to call him.

cassie calls - from colorado.

riiiiiiing.

SW: hello?
cass: hey buddy, put **** on the phone.
SW: who IS this? ?
cass: don't mess around.
SW: My name is Steve Wellman. I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. Stop callling!

hangs up.

jackie and robin call again - from connecticut.

riiiiiiing.

robin: HEY. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. PUT **** ON THE PHONE!
SW: My name is Steve.
robin: Oh yeah, Steve? How long have you had this phone number.
SW: I've had this phone for five years.
jackie: (snickers) yeah right.
robin: Ok "Steve", why did you send me a text threatening to KILL me!!
SW: I do not know what you are talking about, mam.

hangs up.

robin: hey jack, are you sure you are dialing the right number?
jack: yeah, here it is ********
robin: um... that's not it.
jack: crap! cassie was calling it too!
robin: uh-oh. steve welllman just got ambushed from macs around the country.

the night ended with me talking to jackie on i-video until the wee hours of the morning, cassie advising me to call the police, my sponsor calling to make sure i was safe.... and this morning i woke up to four phone calls, one panicked message, and a knock on the door from the security guy.

why me?

question: why do I seem to drive men INSANE? I infuriate them to the point of no return.


while I ponder this question, I want to send this amends out into the universe:



Dear Steve Wellman,

I apologize profusely for last night's unseemly situation. My sisters and I want you to know that we never meant to bother you, or question your identity... or your manhood, or your honesty - we never meant call you demeaning names, or phone you from all corners of the country.

Sincerely, apologetically, and pitifully:

Robin, Cassie, Jackie and Sampson Mac.

Friday, March 21, 2008

21: searching myself




along with my photographs I brought back my journals from Florida. well, at least... 1/3 of my journals... whenever i go through a big breakup I always sift through my past - which i document well, as you can see - and ask myself the same persistent, nagging question: what the hell that
 about?

****if anyone has better or just other ways to get over someone, please! let me know. 

Thursday, March 20, 2008

more FILM shot with a PENTAXslr 35 mm.... be still my heart :(

... and developed by ME in an actual DARK ROOM....

a contact sheet... this should be in a museum.

piano...



i colored this in myself - back in 1999 - at the time it seemed cool, now it's so dated!

i long for the days of dark rooms and chemical smells, contact sheets and rusty projectors... it took me a LONG time to become halfway accustomed to digital....i'm still not there, but i'm trying!


20: canadian summer

taken in 1999 - my first official day of summer i once spent the summer in toronto, studying photography at BSS - the boarding school my mother attended when she was in high school. if any of you are fans of John Irving, his novels frequently reference BSS -

The Bishop Strachan School. Canada's Oldest Day and Boarding School For Girls.

currently I am reading The Fourth Hand, have any of you read it? John Irving weaves an incredible story, never fails, but I find his themes and ideas sometimes weak... but he was born on March 2nd, so I don't have much criticism, him being a fellow pisces and all!
 
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