so i planted one of my house plants (a small tree) at the backbay today. probably broke some hyper-anal orange county law, but hey! it's earth day! had to do it.
also... went on my first official "date" as a single girl. it was strange. realized i am not ready to date - especially go on a BLIND date, for the love of god, no. no, no, no. i am too critical, too cynical, and too closed at the moment to really give anyone a chance. i am deep in the missing my smart, funny, and kind ex-boyfriend mode... sigh.
i want to be alone for awhile. it's what i need. and what i want - most of the time.
more coherent thoughts and less rambling tomorrow, i promise, and for now a little fun in the sun from the desert.
11 comments:
Sometimes being alone lets you figure out who you really are and what you really want.
And yes, blind dates can be skeeeeery!
Being alone can and is so wonderful for healing. Take your time Little Bird. Your worth it :)
Have a great Wednesday!
Gwen~
Recent ex-bf? I agree, time helps for sure. When I was still madly in love (or so I thought) with my ex-bf it was first time, but then dating that really helped me get over him. Even if you have 209348 bad dates, helps to put things behind you sometimes.
Have a good day!
When asked by reporters for his thoughts regarding the the success of his book "blindness," Jose Saramago responded, "we are all blind."
In the novel, an entire country is plauged by an epidemic of "white blindness." Only one woman (none of the characters have names; they are all identified by their appearance--i.e. woman who sees, the wife, the girl with no leg, the man with the gun, etc.) retains her vision, but she is forced by necessity to keep her ability a secret, as she would be killed if the others knew.
Instead of her ability giving her an andvantage over the rest of the population, it augments her sufforing. She is forced to watch as gangs form, guided by men who were born blind and, thus, have an advantage.
In a world of the blind she remains an individual, not because of her vision but because of her ability to accept that her "blindness" (which is, ironically, her ability to see) is her own punishment. In the end, everyone regains their vision. And, the lonely woman's ability to see is no longer a source of anguish.
I don't really know what this has to do with blind dates, but your entry reminded me of this story. However, if I must tie this to your entry:
By becoming comfortable with our individuality (and humanity) we are free and no longer blind. Otherwise, no matter what one does, a "blindness" will always remain.
You should read the novel if you get a chance. It's been almost a decade since I've read it, but I'm sure you would interpret it in a similar way.
Much love,
Omah
Good for you - not only for the tree but first date!!
I dig that photo, lovely tones.....
Take all the time you need.....you'll know when you're ready :)
Honestly, you need to heal before even trying to get back out on the scene. It isn't fair to you :-)
Time heals all wounds...
Gorgeous photo! And I'm glad you know you need to be alone. It's so easy to force yourself into something too soon. I'm glad you're avoiding that trap.
I am so happy you planted a tree on Earth Day! The Earth would be proud.
And as far as dating goes, give yourself some time. I say at least a year. I know that sounds long but you need to heal, get to really know yourself as a single person, and then you can be open to give yourself to someone else. That is just my thoughts anyway.
It's okay if you broke laws, you planted a tree and that's definitely a good thing.
Some poor guy has always got to be The First Date after The Big Breakup, and its always better if its a nice guy but not someone you're really ready to date. That way you can ease back into the world without breaking anyone's heart... including your own.
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