Sizzle Says, Part of the Solution
Even as women, we act as girls.
Exhibit One: Popular songs titles.
Girls just want to have fun. Boys don’t cry.
Exhibit Two: Expressions.
You throw like a girl. Don’t be a girl about it. Man up.
I could go on, but I won't.
Even later in life, past the age of dolls and ponies, women are taught to be girls. If we don’t fall into specific roles – assigned early on – then we are … the b word, the c word, the w word, and the s word. We are met with ridicule, disapproval, scorn… even disgust.
Good girls are:
- polite
- smiling
- soft spoken
- cardigan and skirt wearing
- compliant
- compliant
- trophy wives
- living in orange county
- relationship/ family oriented
- sugar and spice, and everything nice
When a guy pursues you with aggression he is "driven" – when a girl does, she’s a psycho stalker. I heard this at a very young age – never call a boy, never be easy, always play hard to get. And I listened!!
- sugar and spice, and everything nice
When a guy pursues you with aggression he is "driven" – when a girl does, she’s a psycho stalker. I heard this at a very young age – never call a boy, never be easy, always play hard to get. And I listened!!
Case and point: current situation with my ex-boyfriend. He still has my keys, and my sneakers, and I need them back - so I have been trying to get a hold of him... and nothing!!! he won't answer my calls, if he responds to my texts it's with a measly one word answer "huh" and "no" and if i'm lucky, "call you in 5" - needless to say, he doesn't call in five. he doesn't call in ten. he doesn't call in f-ing 24, 36, 72 hours.
I feel like a crazy person!! I don't want to lose myself in this web of mind games. The funny part? Most likely he doesn't even realize it - I feel like I'm five again, talking to my imaginary friend.
I am shy about asking for what I need - my keys, my shoes, my sanity - because I feel aggressive and out of my element. I know how to get the boy - I flutter my eyelashes, laugh a lot, and never make the phone call or the "let's hang out" suggestion. My success with men, sad to say, is contingent on acting like a “girl”.
When I was in seventh grade my boyfriend called me an “Estella” – we were reading Great Expectations at the time. I think this is one of my most fitting insults. Once I bait them I throw them back. And if I do hold onto them, eventually a time comes when I get irritable-restless-discontent, in FEAR, and I push them away - by making their lives hell.
When I was in seventh grade my boyfriend called me an “Estella” – we were reading Great Expectations at the time. I think this is one of my most fitting insults. Once I bait them I throw them back. And if I do hold onto them, eventually a time comes when I get irritable-restless-discontent, in FEAR, and I push them away - by making their lives hell.
How much of this ability to “attract” stems from fear? From loneliness? Fear of rejection, or worse, fear of loving and not being loved in return?
It’s easier to just “be a girl”. You are taken care of, you are spoiled, you are “provided for”.
BUT. I don’t want to lead a limited life. Twenty years from now I don’t want to bored, sitting around the house in curlers, ironing my husband’s wool socks for the 6,000th time. If this is my fate, twenty one years from now I’ll wake up in the bottle.
So I shyly, and humbly, am embarking on a – hopefully – different life.
And f*ck, if I have to go on ONE MORE BAD DATE, I might become a lesbian.
Seriously.
I just want to be myself and say things like:
aaron: hi, robin?
me: hi!
aaron: hi.
me: hi.
bla bla bla
aaron: it's hot, isn't it? i think it was ninety something today
me: yeah i stuck my head in the freezer like ten times this weekend
aaron: what?
me: then i let sam have a go
aaron: oh
me: oh.
aaron: oh.
poor aaron. probably thinking, what a psycho that girl was...
good deed yesterday and today: helping a friend in need. and letting another friend use my car so she can make an early class.
Q
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